Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Well, I guess its about that time again, to write another blog. Actually, its past that time. Okay, I’m changing my mind again. This is when I’m doing it and that is that and its okay. So, I am trying to not beat myself up so much. To realize that it is OKAY if I haven’t blogged in awhile. It is not the end of the world and I’m not a bad person because of it. I have been in need of an attitude adjustment and the NEW YEAR came just in time. And you (my friends) have been so positive and hopeful about this new year stuff that its contagious, and I’m glad! 2004 has been a really crazy year for me. For the entire year, I have not been in school! That is a big change compared to the last 4+ years of my life. I’ve spent 2 months in the Philippines, I’ve moved across the country away from all my family and friends. I’ve moved to Philadelphia (“the big city”)! I’ve gotten an awesome job as a paid activist. I’ve been part of some really great “activist events” (Boston Social Forum, Hip Hop Convention, RNC, NNOMY, etc.). I’ve gotten a new niece! I’ve met SO many amazing people and gotten closer to existing friends (New Yorkers). Some really fun and happy times for me. And some of the saddest that I’ve had. Being far from my friends and family, far from Angelo, more broken family drama, dealing with some old issues, heartache, lots of loneliness and wondering. But it is okay, I have survived and I will continue to do so. Now, I don’t want to be stuck in “survivor” mode. This is my life, and I have a lot of stuff to do!!! I am really starting to work on living and BEING the person that I want to be. I don’t want to be so sad, I want to remember that there is so much beauty in this world, and so much beauty and happiness that I can create MYSELF!! I know I can do this, because I WANT to do this and I must do this. I only have one life.


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