Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Hey everybody!
Once again, I haven’t blogged in awhile…okay like for real blogged. So I don’t know where to start. Well, I guess I’ll just be honest, I have been feeling really sad lately. Part of it is because I am so far from what life used to be for me, family, friends, angelo, school, everything I knew, everything familiar. You’d think that would have worn off by this point, its been over 6 months now. But the truth is, it’s still hard. I’m still lonely and still unsure and still miss everybody. The other parts are because… Anyway, I feel a little bit re-energized and inspired. I want to fight this beast, this pain that is attacking me and trying to destroy my life. There is too much I want to do and too much that I deeply love in life to just let myself fall to this. This morning I woke up and scrounged up a better attitude. It was sunny, I didn’t sleep in excessively, put on baggy pants, took my time, packed some lunch and decided to make a real effort today. And what a day I chose, its like when it rains it pours and when I get happy, I get real happy! I’m going home for Thanksgiving! I hadn’t planned on it, can’t afford it, but they’re paying for it. Actually a huge step in the way of family relations considering the way they’ve interacted with me before now, and their reactions to me moving here. We’re celebrating my daddy’s 50th birthday, I get to see my wonderful tiny nieces, I’m missing 2 days of work, I’ll be with my family!!!! It’s the little things that made my day today…

A co-workers daughter visited the office today and shared hugs and smiles with me
Learned more about the environment and made some good steps forward re: decreasing our office’s contribution to the mess we’re making
I read Raina’s blog that said really sweet things about me (thanks, I love you too!)
I made plans with my wonderful NYC friends who I’m excited to visit this weekend
I took a little walk outside with Adam and soaked in the sunshine
I set up my Homies
I added some funny quotes to my list
Enjoyed my (young) co-workers
Got an email from an Iraq veteran against the war who said he talked to some college republicans and changed their minds!

So…I am gonna re-dedicate myself to blogging regularly. I need to write, I need to take that time. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!


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